I...DON'T!

This evening, I went to the Wedding Show in Green Bay to gather resources for my brother's wedding.  As a nonbeliever in marriage, this show only solidified my views on the ridiculousness of weddings.  I mean homing pigeons, really?  I did fall in love with the most beautiful wedding gown (let me reiterate, I do not want to get married - but this dress was gorgeous).  I also had an amazing time marveling at the intricate wedding cakes.  Okay, let's not joke around, I had an amazing time devouring the samples of cake.  Orange, strawberry, raspberry, chocolate, vanilla, cream cheese...I'm proud to say I tasted each one.

All in all it was a nice way to spend an evening, and I did have a lot of fun, but let's get down to it.  Weddings are expensive.  They are sources of argument, they are over the top parties, and for me, they are pointless.  Let me be clear, I am not against other people getting hitched.  Sure, it's not for me, but I know it is the right choice for many people. I do not want to offend any happily married people out there, because if you are smart about it, marriage can really be right for you.  Like my parents, and soon, my brother and his fiancee.  But they are the exception, not the rule.

What makes me nervous is the fact that people grow and change, and the likelihood that two people will grow together and not apart seems like a gamble to me.  I should also note that I have an extreme fear of divorce.  You have to be sure, really sure, that you and your partner will always want to be together.  But how can you be sure of that?  How can you be sure of what you will want in the future?  Sometimes, I think people get married because they think it's what they're "supposed" to do. Because, in our society, when you've been dating for "X" number of years, you should get married.  But what's so wrong with not getting married?  A committed relationship without marriage is just as acceptable as a marriage.  A wedding is not important, what's important is the love and trust two people have, not the title put on their relationship, and certainly not an expensive, over the top day.

Once again, these are my views, which stem from my realization of change, my fear of divorce, and probably, my youth.  You'll be the first to know if, someday, I meet someone to ease my fears, erase my doubts, and change my mind.

The hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Sometimes, the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.  No, I didn't make that up, but that doesn't mean it's not true.  I've definitely grown up in the past couple of months.  I've lived away from home, taken on so many responsibilities, and successfully completed my first semester of college (only seven more to go!)  The biggest thing I've learned though, is how to seriously consider the feelings of others.  I don't like hurting people, I hate it.  But in some circumstances I believe in temporary pain in order to give way to greater opportunities in the future.  It all comes down to how you deal with it.  I just wish everyone could understand that in the end, everything will work out how it's supposed to.