I...DON'T!

This evening, I went to the Wedding Show in Green Bay to gather resources for my brother's wedding.  As a nonbeliever in marriage, this show only solidified my views on the ridiculousness of weddings.  I mean homing pigeons, really?  I did fall in love with the most beautiful wedding gown (let me reiterate, I do not want to get married - but this dress was gorgeous).  I also had an amazing time marveling at the intricate wedding cakes.  Okay, let's not joke around, I had an amazing time devouring the samples of cake.  Orange, strawberry, raspberry, chocolate, vanilla, cream cheese...I'm proud to say I tasted each one.

All in all it was a nice way to spend an evening, and I did have a lot of fun, but let's get down to it.  Weddings are expensive.  They are sources of argument, they are over the top parties, and for me, they are pointless.  Let me be clear, I am not against other people getting hitched.  Sure, it's not for me, but I know it is the right choice for many people. I do not want to offend any happily married people out there, because if you are smart about it, marriage can really be right for you.  Like my parents, and soon, my brother and his fiancee.  But they are the exception, not the rule.

What makes me nervous is the fact that people grow and change, and the likelihood that two people will grow together and not apart seems like a gamble to me.  I should also note that I have an extreme fear of divorce.  You have to be sure, really sure, that you and your partner will always want to be together.  But how can you be sure of that?  How can you be sure of what you will want in the future?  Sometimes, I think people get married because they think it's what they're "supposed" to do. Because, in our society, when you've been dating for "X" number of years, you should get married.  But what's so wrong with not getting married?  A committed relationship without marriage is just as acceptable as a marriage.  A wedding is not important, what's important is the love and trust two people have, not the title put on their relationship, and certainly not an expensive, over the top day.

Once again, these are my views, which stem from my realization of change, my fear of divorce, and probably, my youth.  You'll be the first to know if, someday, I meet someone to ease my fears, erase my doubts, and change my mind.

The hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Sometimes, the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.  No, I didn't make that up, but that doesn't mean it's not true.  I've definitely grown up in the past couple of months.  I've lived away from home, taken on so many responsibilities, and successfully completed my first semester of college (only seven more to go!)  The biggest thing I've learned though, is how to seriously consider the feelings of others.  I don't like hurting people, I hate it.  But in some circumstances I believe in temporary pain in order to give way to greater opportunities in the future.  It all comes down to how you deal with it.  I just wish everyone could understand that in the end, everything will work out how it's supposed to.

That Dumb Dumb Broke My Hat

I'm sitting in Hillary's room, alone.  Somehow I always find myself in this position.  Hillary's out at a sorority event (breaking my hat), Megan is making cupcakes (yum), and here I am.  I'm waiting for Hillary to get back so we can snuggle on the futon with Paul the Panda and watch "The Proposal".

So, I am in the midst of my first college "finals week" experience, and really, it's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be...yet.  Maybe that's because I will not under any circumstances procrastinate, and I finished my term papers ages ago.  Or my alarming decline in motivation might have something to do with it.  Don't get me wrong, I still want to do the best I can, but college is hard!  I never thought I would be reaching for a B in a class, and I think the idea of that depresses me a little bit.  The fact that, no matter how hard I work, I still cannot reach an A...something that came so effortlessly in high school.  I'm losing motivation to study, to work out, to eat right, even to walk to class.  I will most definitely take full advantage of this winter break.

I'd like to just touch on one subject I've seen in the media recently, Miley Cyrus.  For those of you who were surprised to see the video of Miley smoking "salvia" (I'm still convinced it was marijuana), it's time for a reality check.  This chick has been on the downward spiral ever since Hannah Montana kissed her first boy.  It started with the "Vanity Fair" photo shoot and hasn't stopped since.  I myself am not shocked, but pleasantly surprised.  Who doesn't love a great train wreck?

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

This weekend, I jumped into the Christmas spirit head first.  Maybe it was the snow, the extra cold weather, the Holidazzle Parade, or a combination of all three that shoved me off the deep end.  Don't get me wrong, I've always loved Christmas, who doesn't?  But this year, I went above and beyond in the holiday cheer department.  It all started on Friday, and I think it was because of the snow.  Sure, we had a storm a couple of weeks ago, but it was nothing like this.  This snow was beautiful, white, and impossibly fluffy.  Ask anyone and they would tell you how much I despise snow.  I loathed it, until now.  Maybe being in a different place helped me appreciate it, but this snow was especially beautiful, and really fun!  I spent Friday trying to force my Christmas joy on everyone by decorating the room.  I adorned our door with tons of homemade paper snowflakes and holiday stickers.  I stuck snowflake cling-ons to the window, and wrapped garland around just about everything in the room, all the while, singing along to Christmas Radio on Pandora.  Friday night, we went to "Eat, Pray, Love" which was good, although I didn't really buy the ending.  That night, we also watched the Santa Clause, a Christmas classic.

Saturday was the Holidazzle Parade downtown Minneapolis, the epitome of Christmas.  We actually got to see Santa!  After, we treated ourselves to a nice, hot, plate of Jake Gyllenhaal in "Love and Other Drugs", which I must say was aahhhh-mazing.  It is impossible not to love that man.  T-swift is one lucky cowgirl - not so innocent anymore, is she?  Speaking of innocent, our movie was interrupted by what I thought were elves running through the theater.  I thought it was sweet that the theater was also trying to spread holiday cheer, until Hillary pointed out that they were not elves, they were children.  I was appalled.  What kind of parents bring their children to an R rated movie which consists of ALL of Anne Hathaway and my main man Jake?  These parents are just asking for their kids to be the next stars of "16 and Pregnant", or as Hillary pointed out, in their case, "10 and Pregnant".  Maybe they didn't feel like giving them "the talk" and just decided to let them see for themselves.  Whatever works.

Today Hillary and I fell in love, about thirty times over.  We went to an a cappella concert at Coffman, and let me tell you, these guys (and gals) can sing!  I literally had tears in my eyes as one singer had a solo of "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon.  He was one of the most talented singers I have ever heard in my life.  I wished I could hire him to follow me around all day and just sing to me.  It was truly amazing.  The groups were called "Basses Wild" and "7 Day A Cappella", and I would seriously advice anyone to check them out.  It makes me wonder how someone like Ke$ha can be famous while these people are virtually unknown.  Especially when she spells her name with a dollar sign...

25 Days of Christmas

Three more weeks until Christmas break...this is what I keep telling myself when I feel a wave of stress wash over me.  I try to keep myself very organized, and really, when I force myself to slow down and think about it, I have ample time to finish everything, and do it well.

Christmas used to have a totally different meaning in the past years than it does this year.  Even last year, I would look forward to a week off school, a month of sharing the couch with my two brothers, Christmas shopping, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, and of course...presents!  This year, though, this holiday takes on a whole new meaning.  The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is still one of the best things about December (and it was exceptional this year...I would kill to be a Victoria's Secret Angel), but now, Christmas means so much more.  First of all, I get a month off school as opposed to a measly week.  And because it marks the end of the semester, I will have no homework to do!  After three and half months of straight classes, homework, and studying, having a month of nothing to do is all I can ask for Christmas.  This year, Christmas also means spending time with my family.  Neither of my brothers came home for Thanksgiving, and I cannot wait to see them at Christmas.  My brother's girlfriend recently asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I really couldn't think of anything except seeing her, my brother, and my new puppy niece, Ellie.

It will be strange, though, to be away from Hillary and my friends here.  I feel as though we've known each other for much longer than three months.  I am, however, looking forward to spendies in Green Bay with Megan and Abbey!

It's strange how quickly things can change, but I'm really happy that they have.

Thanksgiving Break

Happy Thanksgiving

This is the first time I've been home since leaving for school three months ago. I didn't really know what to expect...I've heard people say it's weird, but really when I got home it felt like nothing had changed and I'm really glad I had the opportunity to see certain people. The weirdest thing for me was driving again!

Our Thanksiving dinner was awesome,although I really missed my brothers. I had almost forgotten what real (non dining hall) food tasted like. But my parents' home cooking served as a friendly reminder. I don't know why I picked Thanksgiving of all days to control myself, but I, unlike almost every other American, did not stuff myself at dinner. Still trying to figure that one out.

I feel like I'm one of the only people who hasn't been home and hasn't seen everyone from high school on the weekends. I thought that's what college was, a place where you go...and stay. I haven't seen my friends in three months...so one can only imagine the reunion we had. Although I never really thought it was normal, after being in college in a big city for a while, I realized just how strange having a party in a hunting shack, with deer heads hanging off the wall really is. I did find myself missing my friends from school (Hillary and I couldn't go two days without talking on the phone). So I guess, what I'm really thankful for, aside from my amazing family (really, I don't think there's a better one out there), is finding such real, true, supportive friends. It was so apparent today when I was talking with Hillary. I know she doesn't agree with some of the things going on in my life (don't worry, nothing bad...it's actually really good!), she said "Erin, as long as you are happy, I'm happy". And I knew she meant it. I love you girl! And I know we'll be best friends always!

Sidewalk Ice Skating

This weekend was one of the best since I've been here (not counting the time I saw Barack Obama...nothing can measure up to that).  This weekend, I rocked a sorority formal (no, I'm not in a sorority), conquered the Mall of America, and ice skated on the side walk.  Allow me to elaborate...

As you may already know, my roommate, Emily, and Hillary recently got initiated into the sorority AOII.  I hung out at the sorority house with Hillary on the weekend of Halloween, and seem to always be with AOII girls...probably because I'm always with Hillary.  I really get along with them all, they aren't the cookie-cutter sorority girl types...they're, well, normal.  The sorority calls their newly initiated freshman "baby pandas", and because I always seem to be with a gaggle of "pandas", they  have been throwing around the idea of me joining AOII.  They've taken to calling me a "panda in the womb".  Ew.  I'm not totally sticking my nose up at the idea, but I figure if I can hang out with them every weekend, go to the house whenever I want, (and go to their formals), what's the point of joining?  I really don't see myself as the sorority type, I don't want to feel obliged to get along and be friendly with eighty different girls.  No thanks.  Elle Woods used to be my idol, and I dreamt of being president of a sorority, just like her...funny how things change.  Anyways, the point of this story is the formal.  Friday night was AOII's formal, at a manor in Minneapolis, and Emily was generous enough to take me along!  It was supposed to be a murder mystery type party, but that didn't last long (the clues were so hard!) and it quickly turned into a giant dance party.  I didn't realize how much I missed high school dances until I was out shaking it on the dance floor.  Afterwards, Hillary and I went home and, in a greek mood, watched Legally Blonde, but fell asleep after a half hour.  Party animals.  The night was so fun, I can't wait until spring formal ;)

On Saturday morning, Hillary and I woke up bright and early (9:00) and got ready for a big day of shopping.  I don't go to the Mall of America as often as I anticipated I would, and Hillary and I decided it was time to make a trip.  We said we didn't want to make it an all-day event, and would be home late afternoon to do homework before Saturday night activities.  We quickly realized, however, that you can't not make MOA an all day event, and spent literally all day there.  It was a good time, though.  As much as I love the U, it feels good to just get out and away from campus sometimes.  I splurged on a pair of jeans, but they were well worth it.  They fit like a dream.  I think the best feeling in the world is finding a pair of jeans that fit my body perfectly.  Buying jeans is always such a process, and I can try on hundreds (and have) without finding one pair that fits my big booty and little waist.  But worry no more, I've found them, and they are the Levi's Curve ID.  I highly recommend them.

Later Saturday night Emily, Hillary, and Katie (once again, all "baby pandas") and I decided to go to the Coffman to see a free showing of "Dinner for Schmucks".  Surprisingly, it was a real tear-jerker...or maybe I'm just overly emotional.  All in all, it was a little funny and a lot strange, not really sure what to make of it.  The walk (or slide) home turned out to be the most entertaining part of my day.  We walked outside only to find it had rained, and that rain had frozen, making our ten minute walk back to the dorms very interesting.  The three of us linked arms (Katie lives in a dorm right next to Coffman) and proceeded to walk very slowly back home.  Isn't it funny how I now refer to a tiny square box as my home?  Anyways, Hillary, Emily, and I gripped tightly to each other and shuffled our feet slowly.  After many slips, slides, and near topples, we could barely stand straight we were laughing so hard, but we started to gain confidence.  I suggested we take a running start and slide our way down the sidewalk.  I'm sure we looked extremely comical, but it was really entertaining!  After a few successful attempts, we continued to run, slide, slip, almost fall, and laugh like crazy.  Until Hillary took a digger.  Funniest moment of my life.  Girlfriend yanked my arm, almost pulled me and Emily down with her, and plopped her butt down on the ice.  Thankfully, we did make it home safely, got snuggled in our room, and watched out our window at people slipping and sliding in the parking lot.  It was one of the most fun times I have ever had, and I'm looking forward to many more to come!